Sunday, May 30, 2004

It's been awhile

I know. This is getting more and more difficult to write. It's not that I don't have things to share it is just I don't think anyone would find them interesting!

It's Memorial Day Weekend and things are kind of quiet. I have one more month to work with only one more major concert to do. You have no idea how much I am looking forward to at least getting this last concert done! It's getting so hard to do and I just want it to be over. In a little more than a week it will be and hopefully with not many problems.

On a brighter and much more different note, there will be an Alzheimer's Memory Walk in Athens this year. A lovely individual has stepped forward to organize it and I hope I can be of some help. I have wanted to do one here but knew that I couldn't organize it. It's a massive undertaking and we are fortunate to have a lot of peole step forward to help. It will be Saturday, November 6th and I'm looking forward to it.

Saturday, May 15, 2004


OK -- I started logging into this Blog page to write something and they have changed the whole format of how you do things.......and then expect me to understand it. So, I'm hoping this posts o.k. -- change is not a good thing for someone with Alzheimer's.

Yes, it has been awhile since I posted. Finally getting back to somewhat of a routine after Alan's graduation. He hasn't been home much since he graduated because he has been working alot. But, it sure is different with another person around the house when you are not used to it. It is hard for me when he and his dad are talking and the television is on -- I can't filter through everything and it sounds like just lots of loud noises in my head.

My office wants to give me a retirement party at the end of June. That is really bothering me. All the people, all the emotions, all the fuss. I just want to "go quietly into the night", but that isn't going to happen. These kinds of things are very dfficult for me and it will be hard. I know I am obsessing about it and I need to stop thinking about it because it is a month away. I was hoping to influence the party someway that it could be very low key but I think it is getting out of hand. More on that later I'm sure.

Wednesday, May 05, 2004


I know it has been awhile since I entered something in here. My son's college graduation was this weekend and my two brothers from Illinois came down for it. It was awesome to see them and I am so glad they could come. I don't spend a lot of time with them, but when I enter retirement I am hoping that I will be able to visit them more often. But, the weekend was pretty tiring for me. I actually "did pretty well" the whole weekend, not getting too confused but I really tried to stay focus most of the time and it is exhausting.

I found going back to work on Monday pretty hard. That whole "working the mind" stuff didn't go so well. Since I was tired, I made a lot of stupid mistakes and stayed pretty much in my office and out of harm's way. I feel like I hibernate most of the time, trying not to venture out of my office much just because it is too difficult to get back on track once I do. So, I do better in my quiet office, all by myself.

My office wants to have a retirement party for me and I have been fighting it. I don't want a party but they are determined to have one whether I want one or not. So, I have decided to give in and I figure that if I can be part of the planning that I can maybe steer it my way -- not too much fanfare. I just want to go "quietly into the night", but that is obviously not going to happen if I don't have something to say about it. I have a hard time around a lot of people and I will sometimes feel like a panic attack is coming on because of all the noise and trying to sort everything out. I just get too confused and I am easily overwhelmed. I know they know that and will take that into account when planning the party but I am still very uncomfortable about the whole thing. I certainly don't feel like a deserve a party and just don't want a fuss. However, I have specifically asked for no one to bring gifts and if people would like to make a donation to the Alzheimer's Association that would be great.......perhaps there is an upside to this! I know they mean well and I appreciate the thought......I am just not very comfortable with it. I guess I have about a month to get used to the idea and we'll see what happens. I'm sure you will be reading more about this as we get closer and I get more anxious!